This last few weeks have been very weird. Just a lot of things up in the air, future very uncertain. I've been sick off and on, which in itself is very rare. Usually I get sick once a year or so, but no more. I haven't played my guitar in over a month, it seems. Things are going quite well over all -- nothing to really worry about -- and I'm used to working off of urgency, of some kind of crisis management. I really need to get used to this crisis-free zone. To go on and enjoy life, and not spend every minute wonder how I'm going to get everything done.

Guitar playing is one of the most demanding things I do, and natually I can't really do them when I have less than 100% capacity of energy -- so I haven't been playing. The sessions, if they are to happen as planned, are only 2 months away. I have much to prepare. But all I do is to pull out my works-in-progress once in a while and listen to them. Swimming in its unfinished potential. Yes, it's a concern that I haven't been playing the guitar or practicing singing. I am also concerned whether I can deliver vocally when it comes to record. But no, not really. I will deliver. I always have. I have what I need. Worrying doesn't give me what I don't have, so I'm not worrying.

I recently browsed through my old blogs on myspace. I'm thinking of closing my account there and starting over when my album is released. I really don't like myspace. Perhaps I'll skip it all together. Anyway, my head was in such a different place like, 2 years ago. I know how I felt then, but from then I wouldn't have ever imagined where my head would be now. Also, I recently thought that right now it's easier for me to visualize myself being a slick businessman -- well-pressed suit and greased shoes, slick laptop and very current cellphones in hand -- than to see myself as a musician, banging on my gutiar on stage somewhere. It makes sense, since that's the state of my being recently.

A part of key to having a good life, I'm convinced, is to learn how to be friends with uncertainty. Nothing terrible new or exciting to announce to the world, but I think some amazing things are bubbling up. I just don' t know where and when they pop.

But I'm OK with that. Really.

Though I'd like to stop being sick.