I think most of the world misunderstand us.

They think we're in it because we wanna get rich and famous. They think it's because it looks cool to be on stage, making faces at screaming fans. They think it's cool to get all the attention -- it somehow validates our existence. We want to succeed, we want to rise to the top, we want to be a household name...

Some of us may have bits of that. I'm sure many of us wouldn't prevent that from happening if it were to happen to us.

But I think that we make music because we have to. We can't not do it. Believe me, I think music is the hardest thing I do. There are many other things I do, that are easier, and apparently quite well -- so they tell me. Music inspires me but beats me up. It crushes me yet it lifts me up. It sounds like an abusive relationship, but except it always fulfills me at the end. I wouldn't call it "fun" --that sounds too casual. On good days, it's exhilarating, life-changing. On bad days, I feel like I want to kill myself. But even on those days, I endure, because as I said, if I persevere -- it fulfills me like nothing else.

We have to make music, that's why we do it. It's not a choice. Yes, we do want to do it, but if it was just that, I think we all give up sooner or later (and many of us do). Those of us who are in it for life, we do so because that's the only way for us to live.

We can't choose who we are. None of us chose to be a boy or a girl, for example. What we can do, is choosing how to live with ourselves, in the world, at the time we were born in. It's a gift, but it weighs heavy. And I'm sure we all go through many days, wishing if we didn't have to do it.

"I feel the fear take on
Reside in shadow, thrive most won't go
Adrift, I curse my gift
And hope you never know"

-- "Psychotic Break" from Degredation Trip by Jerry Cantrell